Why Parents Leave Their Children

Child abandonment is a reality, and the reasons behind this tragic phenomenon are as varied and unique as the people involved in them. While it is obvious that nothing can be more devastating to a child, the motivating factors are not always completely incomprehensible. Today we will find out why parents leave their children.

Poverty and lack of resources are often the main factors. Some very young parents choose to adopt their children or leave them to family members. In that case, we are not talking about giving up in the formal sense, even though someone is likely to see it that way.

Child abandonment is a multifaceted topic. The triggers, situations and realities of each family are different and potentially traumatic for the child. The pain of these experiences goes deep and is often permanent. Growing up without a father or mother leaves an emotional void that is almost impossible to fill.

Let’s take a closer look at this.

Reasons why parents leave their children

We have all heard dramatic stories of real tragedies that you would not wish for your worst enemy. Despite the fact that we live in an “advanced” society, child abandonment still occurs.

Newborn babies still show up in unexpected places, the result of mothers who just couldn’t take it anymore and didn’t have the support to raise a child.

No two situations are alike. Some of them are understandable, while others are not. In any case, they usually have at least one thing in common: the decision to leave a child is not impulsive. Usually it is the dramatic conclusion of a long meditation and reflection process.

Let’s take a look at the most common triggers:

Economic problems

Poverty, marginalization and lack of resources are common reasons why one or both parents choose to leave their child. In this case, it is crucial to identify the problem and act as quickly as possible to avoid these extremes.

Substance abuse and alcoholism

Substance abuse and social marginalization tend to go hand in hand. If one or both parents are struggling with alcoholism, it can also lead to very difficult conditions for children. Children with alcoholic parents tend to experience two types of abandonment.

The first occurs in the home with neglect and violence that often accompanies alcoholism. The second is physical abandonment when the parent or parents actually leave.

Unwanted pregnancy

Unwanted pregnancies are another common cause of child abandonment. Rape is a possible factor, as is pregnancy in minors. Women and girls in these situations often feel alone and unsure of what to do.

Sometimes parents react differently to an unexpected pregnancy. While one parent is excited about having the baby, the other is not quite ready. Sooner or later, they end up leaving the situation altogether.

Immature parents who do not want to be “bound”

Some people who become parents simply do not have the emotional maturity to cope with having a child. After all, it is an enormous responsibility that it is almost impossible to prepare for. Even if you consciously decide to have a baby, the reality of being a parent can be overwhelming.

On average, children are more likely to be abandoned before the baby’s first birthday, although this can happen at any time. Whether the child is three, five or ten years old, a parent can choose to leave their responsibility.

Relationship problems: abandonment as a way to start over

If you want to fully understand child abandonment, it is important to look at relationship problems as a potential root cause. Separations, infidelity, complicated causes of divorce and conflicts over child support and parental  rights sometimes become so overwhelming that a parent decides to leave.

• These experiences are especially difficult for children. Not only are they witnessing their parents’ conflicts, but they often feel that they are the cause of the problems or possible abandonment.
• In many cases, the parent who is leaving ends up finding a new partner and starting a new family. This is a completely different level of abandonment. No matter how bad it is with a romantic partner, it is still hard to believe that someone decides to leave their child.

We can conclude that the reasons why parents leave their children are complex and often reprehensible. There are obviously some cases where you can understand the circumstances that lead to abandonment. In others, however, there does not seem to be a plausible explanation. Regardless, as a society, we should do everything we can to avoid these situations.

The absence of a parent leaves an unfilled void in a child’s life and a painful scar that lasts well into adulthood.