The Mental And Difficult Burden Of Guilt
Being aware that you have hurt someone is a step in the right direction. However, it also means that you bear the mental burden of guilt. And you may not think this is easy to escape from. You can solve it, but you should not do it by trying and avoiding or apologizing for it.
Only people with severe mental illness do not feel guilty. These people do not have a conscience. Therefore, when inflicting damage, they consider it normal or even necessary. However, a mentally healthy person feels guilty. If you feel guilty, this indicates that you are mentally healthy.
However, there are different types of guilt, and not all are affected in the same way. For example, you can make mistakes that make you feel a little uncomfortable, but still confident that you have not done any real harm. On the other hand, there are situations where inflicted damage can significantly affect you. Then you feel mentally stressed.
The psychological burden of guilt
Everyone has hurt someone else at some point, even if it is not on purpose. No one has so much self-control that they have never done anything wrong. It may be due to the attitude, actions or treatment of others. You are not born emotionally mature, and you usually learn to be that from your mistakes.
Feeling guilty is not so much related to what you have done. It depends more on your perspective on the matter. Some people may feel extremely remorseful over a small violation, while others can easily deal with major mistakes.
Guilt is also affected by the outcome of the situation, the relationship with the person you have hurt, and the current circumstances. If the situation had very serious consequences that continued over time, the mental strain can be very heavy. If the person you hurt is someone you love, it may be harder to deal with the guilt. However, you are not always able to repair the damage. This may be because the consequences of your actions cannot be reversed, or the person is no longer around.
Types of guilt
Injuring someone can lead to two different types of guilt. First, normal sake. This is characterized when you understand what damage you have done, the effect and what moral rules you have broken by your actions. For example, if you made a hurtful comment and then regretted it then you realized that it was not fair to the other person.
The second type is pathological guilt, which is not so obvious. Sometimes you do not consciously acknowledge the damage you have done. However, it weighs on your subconscious. This can lead to self-sabotage or feelings of shame. You may also feel suspicious and scared. As a result, guilt manifests itself as the feeling that you are going to be punished, but you do not know exactly why or how.
Pathological guilt can be a major obstacle that threatens everything you do. The paradox is that you may subconsciously long for punishment, and in fact practice it yourself without knowing it.
How to recover from the mental burden of guilt
Forgiving oneself is a fundamental process for good mental health. However, this is not as simple as just saying “I forgive myself”. It is a process that requires you to acknowledge the damage you have done and the consequences of it.
You can not just let it go, you have to investigate the circumstances of how and why it happened. Why did you not act in the right and proper way? What stopped you? What were the surrounding psychological circumstances? Why was it impossible for you to act differently?
Injury to others is often related to immaturity, weaknesses, or false beliefs. It can also be linked to impulsive behavior due to lack of self-control, or disputes that have not been adequately addressed. It is always important to try to be a good person and remember that you are just a human being.
After understanding comes forgiveness. Then you can fix what can be fixed by apologizing, explaining your mistake and promising that you will not make the same mistake in the future.
