“Only For Today “: A Technique To Increase Self-esteem

As we begin to look for ways to increase our self-esteem, it is not uncommon to find several different approaches. After all, there are few things that are as important to human psychology as self-esteem. Abraham Maslow, for example, defined it as a basic human need. If we do not take steps to cultivate our self-esteem, it can prevent us from reaching self-fulfillment and finding true happiness.

In fact, low  self-esteem is a consequence of many of our problems, including anxiety disorders, depression, relationship problems, and in short, much of our daily suffering. Many psychological approaches have studied this topic over the years, and have provided us with in-depth knowledge and resources that can help us repair and increase self-esteem.

There are two main reasons why we can continually neglect this aspect of our psyche. In general, the first reason is our childhood, the way we were raised, whether our parents tried to validate us, make us feel valued, secure and able to succeed in life.

The second reason is especially important to keep in mind. Self-esteem is not a stable concept. It is not something you achieve and carry with you for the rest of your life. This aspect of our mental and emotional architecture is often very unstable. A single bad relationship or a negative experience, and the way we interpret that experience, can quickly undermine our esteem.

Self-esteem is like a garden. It requires almost daily care and maintenance. You have to work hard to cope with weeds, sow good seeds and water the flowers that grow there. With this in mind, we want to look at a simple technique to promote this type of self-care.

A technique to increase your self-esteem

Many of us worry about what others think of us. So much so that at times we even go so far as to hide aspects of our personality in order to gain acceptance and avoid being judged. In addition, even the simple fact of living with a narcissistic person can end up robbing us of our self-esteem.

We spend so much time trying to win the affection or approval of that person (whether it is a narcissistic parent, a narcissistic partner, etc.) that our self-esteem is slowly eroded to nothing. It is important to distance ourselves from this toxic person so that we can begin to recover from trauma and rebuild our sense of self-worth.

As we mentioned earlier in this article, this is something that needs to be done daily. In a research project conducted by Crocker, J. and Parkh, LE (2004) at the University of Houston , Texas, it was pointed out that we spend our lives looking for sources that can help increase our self-esteem. These sources can take the form of a new emotional relationship, a close group of friends, a good job, and so on.

However, this external quest is ultimately fruitless. The best way to increase your self-esteem is to focus your efforts within. You can not look for something that is not on the inside.

“Just for today” – mental exercises that help you to have peace with your inner self

Self-sabotage is the opposite of self-esteem. This practice, which is so detrimental to our identity and mental well-being, usually takes the form of a negative and harmful inner dialogue: “No matter how hard I try, I will never be good at it”, “It is not worth trying something else, because I know I will fail ”, or“ I am not as determined or as skilled as those around me, I know I will fail them ”.

There comes a time when our brain simply gets used to thinking such thoughts. This is a cycle we must try to change, deactivate and break. One way to do this is by using the self-esteem technique “just for today”. It involves the following:

• Use a set of simple but powerful ideas to retrain your attitude to life. As you do so, you can begin to make peace with yourself, awaken your potential, and change any negative ideas you have cultivated over time.
• These ideas and resolutions are meant to help you turn off the negative inner dialogue.
• You should work on a different aspect of your self-esteem every day.

Here are just a few examples of some of the solutions you can do:

• I’m going to be nice to myself just for today. I will remind myself that I am brave and that I will love myself as I deserve.
• Just for today I want to set a goal. I want to fulfill this goal and remember that I am a skilled, brave and talented person.
• Today I want to distance myself from things that hurt me and everything that causes doubt or misfortune. Only for today will I allow myself to do the things I want to do. The things that make me laugh and increase my self-esteem.

The best way to increase your self-esteem is to free yourself from fear and insecurity

When you live with feelings of insecurity, an intense fear of failing or not living up to the expectations of others, and have persistent anguish of wondering if you will ever be good enough, you are sabotaging yourself in every possible way. It’s a very personal thought process, and something only you can change. So if you want to break this habit, you need to raise awareness about these negative thoughts.

You need to train your mind, harmonize your emotions, engage in behaviors that help you feel capable, and surround yourself with people who enrich your life and help you reach your potential. Try to remember the technique “just for today” to increase your self-esteem. It is simple, effective and can ultimately change your life.