Mentalization: The Key To Interpersonal Connection

Mentalization, or Theory of mind , is a socio-cognitive ability that allows you to have a connection to others. This skill goes far beyond just believing that you know what someone else is thinking or feeling at a given time. Mentalization allows you to understand that what others think and feel may actually be quite different from what you are experiencing at the same moment.

Gregory Batenson, a psychologist and anthropologist, introduced this concept and gave us the key to understanding a larger part of our social behavior. Mentalization allows you to realize that the people around you have thoughts and beliefs that are separate from your own.

Humans, like many animals, must predict the behavior of others. With your intuition, you need to find out what other people may be thinking or feeling so that you can adapt your behavior appropriately. We are talking about a series of very sophisticated cognitive processes, a kind of innovative technology on an emotional level.

Mentalization: The most important socio-cognitive skill

We often talk about empathy as the essential ability to enable interpersonal connection. It is true that empathy is a basic social “glue” that helps us connect to and understand other perspectives. With that said, it is also true to say that mentalization is actually much more important than empathy for social issues.

Emapti helps you know that others can feel the same as you, while Batenson’s theory allows you to understand that your reality may be very different from mine. For example, mentalizing can help you understand if someone is lying to you. It also enables you to know that you can react very differently than others to the same stimuli.

All of these processes are fundamental to social conditions. The brain does amazing things to allow us humans to survive, adapt, and connect with others in a meaningful way.

Your brain is a prediction machine

People often compare the brain to a computer. It’s like a prediction machine with a basic goal: to reduce the uncertainty that surrounds you. A study by Dr. John Anderson at the University of Michigan shows that the predictive nature of the brain explains why mentalization is so important in social situations.

We need to predict more than just the behavior of those around us. It is also important to predict
their reactions, knowledge, beliefs and feelings. Being able to do just that allows us to adapt our behavior with these intuitive factors in mind.

It may be interesting to note that animals also have this sophisticated ability. Some fascinating studies have discovered that chimpanzees can predict the behavior of some individuals. They know how to trick potential rivals and even promote proactive behaviors that are helpful to the group.

Does everyone have this skill?

Studies on human development show that skills related to mentalization appear in children around the age of four. This is when children begin to have more abstract and sophisticated thoughts. They begin to understand that other people that intentions, willpower and different thoughts and opinions.

However, it is also worth noting that under certain circumstances people may lack these skills. Researcher Simon Baron-Cohen at the University of Cambridge has conducted a number of studies on mentalization and autism. His research suggests that children with autism spectrum disorders have serious mental health deficiencies.

We know, for example, that children and adults with autism show different empathic behaviors. They perceive the pain and worry of others. However, they seem to have trouble predicting the behavior of others. They find social interactions confusing and difficult, as they cannot intuitively see the reactions of others. They have trouble understanding that other people can feel, think and react differently than themselves.

Patients with Schizophrenia are in a similar situation. It is difficult for them to create a connection to others where they distinguish between their own and others’ mental states.

Mentalization to survive

John Locke once said that ” people always forget that human happiness is a disposition of the mind, and not a state of circumstances “. The universe of the mind is one of the most fascinating subjects, but also one of the most complex. Humans and other animals have the ability to make connections with others in order to understand each other. Precisely because of this, they are able to adapt to the environment better and ensure that they can continue to live.

However, there is something interesting about mentalization. Thanks to this skill, you can understand other people better and anticipate behaviors, needs and thoughts so that you can react accordingly. Yet the end goal is not always noble. Thanks to mind theory, one is also able to deceive and manipulate other people.

All in all, it is up to each of us to use this incredible skill for something good, not evil.