Know Aspects Of Yourself, But Do Not Become Associated With

Many social psychology theories have attempted to define the self. From William James in the late 19th century who differentiated between an “me” as the object of experiences and “I” as an observer, to the most orthodox psychoanalysts. The self is the auto-referential part of who you are. It makes sense to your identity and depends on seeing yourself as the protagonist in your life experiences. Today we will learn about several concepts, including self-deviations, aspects of yourself and self-complexity.

Although humans have only one unique essence, it consists of more than one self. You are the sum of many roles, aspects and past, present and future “selves”. A good way to maintain a healthy self-esteem is to be aware of all your selves. Appreciate them, accept them, but do not merge yourself with any of them. Understand that none of your different selves encompass the essence of what you are.

Why is this so important? Well, if a series of experiences at some point in life destroys or harms a “self”, it is not the end of the world. Your other selves, those that are still intact, can compensate for the weak and relieve the pain.

But if you link to a specific aspect of who you are, any circumstance that challenges that aspect will be intensely threatening. This will make it very difficult to get through everyday life. Let’s take a look at some of the psychological theories that try to define the self and its relationship to emotions and self-esteem.

Higgins’ theory of self-deviation

Edward Tory Higgins developed the theory of self-deviation that focuses on internalizing standards he calls “self-guidelines.” The author suggests that the self is not a single concept. He argues that there are two cognitive dimensions that we can use to measure the different self-states: domains of the self and positions of the self. In the last criterion, it is the perception the person has of himself. It also includes the perception they think their significant other (partner, family, friends, etc.) has of them.

For Higgins, the actual self is the basis of the concept of itself. What you know about yourself and what others know about you. The other selves are self-guides, which tell you where to go and where to go.

As long as there is not too much discrepancy between your different representations of the self, your self-confidence will be high. In addition, you will probably feel different emotions if you pay more attention to or merge yourself with one special one.

For example, if your “self you should be” is too important and you are associated with it, you will feel guilty if something threatens it. If you are obsessed with your ideal self, but you are having trouble reaching your goals, you will be frustrated.

Linville’s self-complexity model: Aspects of yourself and differentiation

Patricia Linville formulated a four-part model that links multiple self-representations and self-complexity with emotional variation.

The first assumes that the self is cognitively represented by a number of aspects. These aspects depend in part on the number of social roles a person has in life (such as wife, mother, lawyer, etc.), and the types of interpersonal relationships they establish (collegial, competitive, supportive, maternal) the activities they perform (playing poker, swimmer, writer) or personal traits (ambitious, creative, etc.).

Each of these aspects of yourself organizes a set of statements and character traits within yourself. These include personality traits, physical traits, abilities, preferences, goals and autobiographical memories. They organize them in such a way that aspects of yourself are different from each other because they include different characteristics.

In that sense , it is normal for you to feel good about some of your roles and not so good with others. For example, a woman may feel proud of herself as a mother, but ashamed of her job performance.

Let’s say you have high self-complexity (many different aspects of yourself). Thus, your emotional reactions will be less extreme when something “hurts” an aspect of yourself. What affects you as a mother has no bearing on who you are as an employee, daughter, sister or friend.

Conclusion

It is healthy to maintain certain self-guidelines throughout life. They help you determine life challenges and goals. They also help you stay consistent and work for what you want and what you think you deserve. On the other hand, as Linville says, it is good to have different aspects of yourself, but be sure to maintain your self-complexity and not relate to any of them.

If you work on not attaching yourself to a particular aspect of yourself, you will be much better prepared to deal with the ups and downs of life. Think of it as putting all your eggs in one basket. Whatever happens to one of your specific self-representations becomes less important to your self-confidence and mood. That’s because you have so many others to fall back on. As Patricia Linville said, self-complexity protects you from bad times, but also helps you get back on your feet through the good times.