How We Feel And What We Share On Social Media

Sometimes there is a pathological distance between how you feel and what you share on social media, which can be a significant source of anxiety. These platforms give you the opportunity for almost instant gratification; a fast and effective dose of dopamine. Like any short-lived joy, however, you must keep coming back for more. It can quickly become problematic.

Social media provides equal opportunities for everyone when it comes to sharing content. In return, you have to deal with this invisible pressure to keep your motivation new and interesting. At the same time, your motivation to please the audience leads you to avoid publishing something that is “boring” or “unpleasant”. You have these imaginary followers you want to please, which motivates you to create an alternative reality.

This raises the question of how this emotional difference between what you share and how you feel affects your mental health.

A real danger

These days, many people rely on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, YouTube, Instagram or TikTok to connect with others. While they can be fun, informative and useful, it is important to remember that social media does not replace human connection in the real world.

You need human contact to trigger the hormones that relieve stress and make you feel happier, healthier and more positive. Too much time on social networks can exacerbate mental health problems such as anxiety and depression.

Negative consequences of social media

• The feeling that your life is not good enough. Even if you know that the pictures you see on social media do not show the whole story, it is easy to feel insecure.

• The fear of missing something (FOMO). FOMO existed before social media came, but Facebook and Instagram seem to reinforce the idea that everyone else enjoys life more than you. The idea that you are missing out on certain things can affect your self-esteem, cause anxiety and further increase the use of social media.
• Insulation. A study from the University of Pennsylvania found that increased use of Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram makes people feel lonely. Reducing the use of social media, on the other hand, can make you feel less alone and less isolated. It enhances your overall feeling of well-being and satisfaction.
• Depression and anxiety. People need (and enjoy) face-to-face contact. Nothing is better to reduce stress and improve your mood than to spend time in person with someone you care about.
• Cyberbullying. About 10% of teens report being intimidated or bullied on social media. A large number of users also report that they are a target for offensive and rude comments.

• Self-absorption. Sharing selfies and intimate thoughts on social media can lead to unhealthy egocentrism. It can also distance you from making positive connections with others in the real world.

The pathological distance between how you feel and what you share on social media can cause anxiety

Social media can be problematic if they directly contribute to a reduction in the quality or frequency of face-to-face interactions. The same is true if it distracts you from your job, makes you sad or jealous, or if you use social media to make other people jealous. If any of these things are true, it may be time to reconsider using these platforms.

One of the most potentially problematic factors is not how often you publish, but how honest you are when you share. Talking about how happy you are on social media when you are having a hard time can increase your feelings of anxiety.

Do you feel obligated to post something?

Most of us have a small, loyal audience on social media. You probably only have an actual relationship with about 10% of those who follow you (or those you follow). A very small percentage of people can also make money by being “influencers”. In other words, something that probably does not oblige you to share things on social media.

The most you get from being active on social media is the satisfaction of sharing information and content on specific topics. The effect of your content often depends more on how your followers perceive you than the actual message you share or how you share it.

As we mentioned above, social media is a platform to showcase the best moments in your personal and professional life. However, activity on social media rarely has any long-term, positive impact on your well-being. On the contrary, it is quite common to feel pressured to post content, as if it were an animal you need to feed. This type of pressure is problematic if it causes anxiety.

Wedding day

Here is an example. Let’s say a man is getting married. He is excited about his wedding day and is also excited to share the photos from the event. When the day comes, however, things start to go wrong from the beginning. It is very hot, he argues with his partner during the reception and his back hurts.

He probably still feels happy despite these minor setbacks. The fact remains, however, that the day did not go as he expected. He does not want to share the photos on social media, but he feels that if he does not do it soon, people will start asking questions and he will feel uncomfortable. Finally, he posts a picture from the reception where he looks happy and satisfied. This is a hypothetical situation, but it happens in many different forms every single day. You post things that portray emotions you do not really feel.

Distrust and rejection

Is that the kind of life you want to live? You may face rejection and mistrust if your social media gets too far from the real you. Not even the so-called “influencers” can avoid this kind of suspicion from the people in their circle, even if they justify it by arguing that this is how they make money.

A gap between what you really think and feel and what you post on social media can cause significant mental anxiety. It also has the potential to pathologize your emotions, cognition and behavior, which can have long-term consequences.

We are not talking about quitting social media. Instead, try to reflect on how you can benefit from it. Does it hurt you more than good? Does it increase your well-being, or does it cause anxiety and problems with your self-esteem? Social networks are definitely here to stay, so remember that learning from them and learning about yourself is an ongoing process. You are free to show who you really are instead of creating a fake life to try to prove your worth.