How To Be Assertive With The Family

Knowing how to be assertive with your family is the key to your well-being. Why? This is because every time families get together for holidays and other celebrations, it leads to a dynamic that can cause you to lose patience and even temper. A family reunion is, after all, a complex tribe with different opinions. It does not always lead to a harmonious environment.

Everyone has the right to think differently. What really matters is knowing how to respect each other in order to be under the same roof. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. And it gets a little more complicated during the holidays. Even though it is meant to be a time for relaxation, you still need to prepare to be with your family. You may not have even seen any of these people in a while.

Therefore, you travel a considerable distance to attend the family dinner. It has been on your calendar all year. And yes, maybe you have been very anxious about it because the cousin who likes to argue with you about everything you do and say will be there. Or maybe you just dread seeing your judgmental father. Or the aunt who gets involved in everything and can’t help but ask about your personal life and your plans for the future.

Going from your comfort zone to enemy territory is not always easy. However, you will survive even if these collections are rarely harmonious, glamorous and magical. In fact, you can come unscathed from it and quite proud of yourself on the other side. Keep reading to find out how!

Strategies to help you be assertive with your family

Practicing self-assertion is one of the keys to using it with your family. It is not enough to try to avoid and understand them. There must be other important ingredients such as courage, along with the will to change and the confidence to put them into practice.

It is often difficult to be assertive with a close relative. This is because the emotional component can be debilitating. You may feel that you are offending them in some way and choose silence instead. It is better to ignore them. However, this is not a good strategy because any violation you ignore will create a dent in your self-esteem.

Be assertive, present, confident and direct with the family

The main purpose of most family reunions is to make up for lost time, share quality time and enjoy each other’s company. However, there may be some people around you who are conflicted and master in breaking and changing harmony. As far as your well-being goes, just remember one thing: You want to be fine no matter what. So try not to lose your temper with something or someone.

Then make it a point to be present because leaving your thoughts elsewhere will not fix anything. Playing with your phone does not make time go by faster. Stay here and now, as this will help you get in touch with your emotions. You should also confront any conflict in a confident and direct way. How?

• Do not be afraid to say what you want and what you do not want. Say something along the lines of, “I do not want to talk about this right now. We celebrate, so this is not the best time to do it ”.
• If someone is trying to start a discussion, you need to self-downplay it. Say, for example: “I see that you want to talk about some things that will only divide us. We are not here to argue, we are here to have fun. ”
• If a discussion escalates and triggers major disagreements or problems, you can also try to resolve it as soon as possible. Remind everyone that the main purpose of the gathering is to enjoy themselves.

Do not answer if you do not feel like it

Remember a very simple principle when it comes to exercising self-assertion in family gatherings. You are not obligated to answer something you do not want to answer. No one, regardless of the status of your family, has any authority over you.

So if you do not want to talk about something, do not do it. Make this clear with confidence and respect.

How to deal with conflicting relatives

Each family has one person who seems to enjoy conflicts and press everyone’s buttons. In fact, they will contradict anything you say just to annoy you. There are two options to choose from if you end up in the middle of these situations. Either ignore them or try to communicate with them.

Therefore, remember the following:

• People who love to argue, contradict and disagree just because they can, do so because they are probably insecure and need to put their opinions and ideologies higher than other people’s. Thus, they will downplay everyone around them. In these cases, there is only one thing you can say: “I understand and respect your opinion, but I am not here to waste time, but to enjoy it. You have your faith and I have mine, so let’s change the subject. ”
• In general, this type of people attacks without solid or logical arguments. Therefore, another good strategy is to ask questions. The more questions you ask, the better your position. Stay calm and even joke a bit. Sooner or later, they will contradict themselves.

Your own well-being comes first

To survive a family reunion that is already causing discomfort and anxiety, you need to visualize it. Tell yourself that you should feel good and know your limits. Therefore work with the following:

• Know what situations you will not tolerate before attending the gathering.
• Visualize these boundaries and decide that they are your safe place. Knowing what things and circumstances you do not allow should give you peace of mind and comfort.

In conclusion, being assertive in family gatherings will make a big difference in your life. Not only will you get the best out of any quarrels or disagreements, but you will get better at it and be able to use these techniques in any other context.