How Can We Help An Elderly Person With Sadness?

Sadness is a part of life and no one can escape it. However, there are certain stages of life when we are more exposed to it. One of these stages is old age, the time in our lives when we begin to see youth as a distant horizon that we left behind long ago. If you have an elderly person in your life who is depressed or “just” sad, you may be wondering how you can help.

There are several reasons why sadness appears in old age. Just like in adolescence, your body suddenly changes and it is out of your control. The way you relate to your family members and your environment also changes. At this stage  , many people stop working regularly,  while others have to deal with the loss of a spouse, friends and dreams that are now probably not going to come true.

Helping an elderly person with such sadness is not as difficult as it may seem. It is true that they may have severe physical limitations that limit them, but there are usually many options out there that can change their lives and make them happier.

Risk factors for depression

The best way to help an elderly person is to identify their risk factors for depression. Let us remember that losses are common in this phase of their lives, while “gains” are more rare. It is the opposite of what happens in childhood.

Other conditions may increase the risk of depression later in life. Here are the most important:

• Health status. The risk of depression is much higher for those who have health problems, especially chronic disorders. This is especially true for degenerative diseases or those that involve constant physical pain.

• Personality traits. People who are insecure or have low self-esteem are more likely to be carried away by sadness as they get older.
• Socio-economic status. Both financial dependence and lack of resources at this stage increase a person’s risk of depression.
• Living alone.
• Having little or no social interaction.

Now that you know these risk factors, you may also be looking for them. Then you can evaluate them, always with the active participation of the individual you are helping. Remember that the goal is always to prevent depression.

To help an elderly person with sadness

Helping an elderly person who is sad is not the same as taking responsibility for their sadness. What a depressed person does not need is for someone to “adopt” them and feel sorry for them. What they need is motivation, dedication, company and support. But most of all, what they need is respect.

That means you have to accept their timing, decisions and preferences. You can give them advice and encourage them, but you must also tell them that they are the ones who decide. It is much more likely that the changes will remain if you do it this way.

Now, what can you do to help an elderly person who is not feeling so well emotionally?

Guidelines

• Try to get them to question their negative thoughts, just as their mood makes them question their positive thoughts. Do it with love. If they say they feel unable to do something right, ask them if they could do something to change that situation. If they say that nothing interests them anymore, let them talk freely about the causes, without confronting them.

• Do not let them spend all day with nothing. Help them find small productive tasks that make them feel useful.
• Foster positive emotions. Help them remember good times in their lives and all their accomplishments. Ask for their opinion and let them know that you value their wisdom and experience.
• Give them motivation to do activities, no matter how small they may be. A morning walk, reading a book, gardening… any activity will be good.
• Help them get a good routine. Grief and depression sometimes cause people to spend a lot of time in bed or too many hours watching television. Try to sit down with them and reorganize their schedule together. But do not forget that even if you come up with some ideas, they have the last word. Otherwise, you need to check with them all the time to make sure it happens.

You may actually notice that you are the one who achieves something  when you support the vulnerable. It can fill your life with meaning and greater significance, and do not be surprised if you get some wisdom out of it as well.

* Editor’s note:  Sadness is strictly defined as an emotion, and as such it does not last long. In this article, we refer to sadness as a state in which melancholy, despair and sadness themselves dominate, rather than the feeling itself.