What Is Parental Alienation Syndrome?
Divorce or separation of a child’s parents is usually traumatic for them. Their family, which they thought was the backbone of their entire lives, has shattered. And they can not do anything about it. They will almost always feel sad, insecure, and very vulnerable. Unfortunately, there are some parents who take advantage of this situation to hurt their ex-partner. The result is something called parental alienation syndrome.
It seems incomprehensible that some parents can behave so selfishly. Unfortunately, hatred and annoyance towards the ex-partner is sometimes stronger than the feelings for the children . Many parents are not even aware of the harm they do to their children. For them, their own pain is more important than their child.
They tell the child that the father or mother does not want to see them anymore. They lie to the child and try to make them lose respect for the other party. The psychological consequences for the child can be very problematic. It can create pathological hatred towards the parent, who is now a victim of parental alienation.
What is parental alienation syndrome?
Parental alienation syndrome is a type of psychological child abuse. It is the manipulation of the sensitive mind of children, with the aim of changing the perception of their other parent.
This type of abuse can come from one or both parents. The alienating parent will not think that they are ridiculing their child, as long as they express feelings towards the other partner. Many will even use the family environment to reinforce the disgrace. Relatives and friends may end up as accomplices in this type of abuse.
The parent will also go into detail about why they were divorced, and make themselves the victim. The hope is that the child will feel sorry for them and blame the other. It’s really about revenge. But the tragedy is that it is the child who suffers. They are the real victim and should never have had to deal with that kind of toxic behavior.
What can lead a parent to behave like that?
The correct thing to do in a divorce is to separate the two very important concepts. Being a bad partner does not mean being a bad parent. Of course, this idea does not apply in situations of domestic abuse. It is quite logical that when you have been abused by a now ex-partner, you may be afraid that the story will be repeated in the children’s lives.
In other situations, when you deprive a parent of the right to see their child, it is a sure sign that the separation or divorce did not go well. Selfishness and a great lack of self-confidence can stick out their ugly heads. And it is in addition to the lack of sensitivity and empathy, which is so incredibly damaging to the child.
The parent who has been alienated may also have some form of personality disorder. The most common in such situations are narcissism and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
What can I do if I witness or fall victim to such behavior?
If a person is accused of this type of child abuse in court, it can affect the right of custody. Before threatening parents or alerting child welfare services, try talking to them instead. Try to make them realize that their behavior is not right. They need to understand that it is the child who ends up suffering the most.
If the manipulative attitude persists, it is up to a judge to decide what to do. Children may refuse to live with the other parent because of the hatred that that parent has raised in them. Parental alienation syndrome is a very complex problem that usually requires some form of psychological care.
Parental alienation syndrome can be quite devastating in children. Anxiety and fear can affect their relationship and slow down the emotional development of the child.
Feeling ridiculed when they express positive feelings towards the other parent also affects their self-esteem. Many will draw these traumas into adulthood, creating an incompatible gap between them and the affected parent.
To sum it all up, parental alienation syndrome is not something to be taken lightly. A separation or divorce should not be a psychological battle between those who, at some point in their lives, made a choice to start a relationship. In any case, it should not involve the children, and cause them even more harm.
