7 Common Mistakes Many People Make In A Relationship

Relationships are beautiful things, but they can sometimes be complicated. Learning to build a healthy connection, one that makes us happy and, most of all, grows on the basis of trust and security, is not easy. Certain common mistakes many people make in a relationship are part of what prevents us from having this.

Dealing with difficulties and complications in everyday life requires patience and understanding along with the will to find out about them together.

Therefore , it is important to learn to identify which of these mistakes you are making and then find a solution.

It is normal for relationships to have their tough times, but getting through them (assuming that is what you want and that it is possible) contributes to growth.

Below we will tell you what some common mistakes many people make in a relationship so you can learn to see them.

Common mistakes many people make in a relationship: losing focus on one’s individuality

The great paradox of love is that the two people involved in the relationship tend to be one, even if they are to remain two.

In a relationship, it is normal that there is a need to find a common identity to strengthen the bond and avoid conflict. In fact, this is positive because common interests, what one likes and views help to bring the couple closer together.

However, we are taking the wrong path towards that goal. One of these involves sacrificing one’s individual identity to please the other.

Whether this is for fear of losing the other or because it is a desire to just keep the peace, the truth is that it is not healthy because no one is true to themselves.

The strongest relationship is one where each person remains true to himself. Otherwise, it is a symbiosis that can cause serious problems.

2. To hide weaknesses

A relationship cannot grow if it is not based on a foundation of honesty. Sometimes we mistakenly believe that our partner will only be able to love us if they see us as perfect. This is not true.

True love happens when we show who we really are. How else will they get to know us? Hiding under a different identity will only lead to complications and frustrations in the long run.

And really, what this attitude hides is a deep lack of self-love. Someone who tries to pretend says that they feel unworthy to be loved because they believe that the only way to be loved is to be someone else and not themselves.

3. To let yourself fall into a routine

Another common mistake in relationships is to let routine establish itself where there used to be great tension. This can easily happen and almost without the couple noticing.

Things begin to go out of old habit, where what one wanted to do and desired becomes what must be done. Just because you’re used to it.

To stay out of a routine, it is best to live a fully individual life. Then we can contribute our share to the relationship.

Therefore, it is important to find a way to do new things, get out of your comfort zone whenever possible. It is not that difficult. It just takes a little willpower.

4. To disconnect spiritually

Spirituality has to do with the meaning of what is given to life and all its components. When the relationship is in the early stages of falling in love, it seems that love itself colors everything with something that transcends the ordinary, a connection that is not only emotional, but also spiritual.

Plans emerge together, and each of them has a deep meaning on its own. The couple is thus not only united by mutual attraction, desire and love, but also by one or more goals in life.

However, this is lost over time and is actually one of the common mistakes many make in a relationship that leads to disappointment and boredom. To combat that, there is nothing better than renewing their shared high-level goals every now and then.

5. Wanting to change the other

This is an attitude that often appears later in a relationship. It actually has a lot more to do with dissatisfaction with oneself than with the other,  and is a mistake many make in a relationship.

Someone who is happy with his life and is emotionally responsible for what happens in it, does not try to change others. In fact, they do not depend on them for their happiness.

Something else happens if a relationship is full of addiction and personal insecurity. The relationship can become a kind of scapegoat. Problems and solutions are seen through this lens.

Then it nurtures the idea that if our partner changes, our own lives will be better. However, this will not happen because each person is responsible for their own happiness and is responsible for their own decisions.

6. Develop controlling behavior

Even if in a romantic relationship one “owns” the other in one way or another, we can sometimes lose the fact that this has very precise boundaries. Although exclusivity is an implicit and explicit agreement in most relationships, it does not mean that one of the two has the right to control the other’s behavior.

There are several common mistakes many people make in a relationship, but this crosses the line from healthy exclusivity to selfish possession. This is when controlling behavior appears.

One person wants the other to act the way they want them to. If not, they feel threatened or start a fight. In this case, it is the individual who makes the mistake and not the couple.

The responsibility falls on each individual person to deal with their uncertainties and not transfer them or project them onto the other.

7. Hide important secrets

Every member of the relationship has things they keep to themselves, no matter how much trust and intimacy there is between them. This is healthy. This means that individuality has been preserved.

However, there are problems that affect them both, and therefore should not be hidden. If this happens, it is probably a more serious underlying problem, as it is an attempt at manipulation and breach of trust. It is a sign of a serious communication problem.

We should not forget that just as we all have our problems, all relationships have problems as well. It is normal to have to deal with one difficulty after another.

The truth is that these obstacles do not always indicate that something is wrong. In most cases, they are small problems that we can correct.

Here it’s important. There are common mistakes many people make in a relationship, and that’s okay. But both must learn to identify them and be sufficiently willing to reflect on how to resolve them.