Romantic Relationship With A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)
For many, falling in love is like a being on a carousel of nervous emotions that are difficult to make sense of. An intense chaos of happiness, sprinkled with what are sometimes the most unbearable sorrows.
This is a reality that can be even more overwhelming for the so-called “highly sensitive person” or HSP.
It is important to remember that approx. 20% of the population is very sensitive. They have a number of psychological and emotional peculiarities that set them apart from the rest.
The characteristics of the very sensitive person
The world view of highly sensitive people comes straight from the heart, and although many characterize it as a “gift”, this aura sometimes does not bring true happiness.
They are intuitive, creative and able to perceive the feelings of others in all their nuances, but this also leads to them becoming more reactive. They feel more affected and painful when faced with certain situations.
The very sensitive person likes a lot of loneliness, and prefers to carry out activities alone, where they can appreciate the world in the authentic reality.
They have their own rhythm, and are on their own time, which is very different from the accelerated materialism of the rest, where they do not always feel integrated.
They are observant, intuitive, detailed, self-demanding and have a lower pain threshold. They are bothered by loud noises, and it is even common to find young children who are bothered by certain types of clothing, frictions and even voices.
As we see, highly sensitive people have a more refined vision of reality, but at the same time, this gift – this trait – makes them much more vulnerable. Especially when it comes to love…
Relationship between an HSP and a non-HSP
Since highly sensitive people account for about 20% of the population, it is normal for there to be an abundance of relationships with non-HSPs or non-highly sensitive people.
It is obvious that there are many different types of individuals, such as the very sensitive person who decides that it is better to be alone because of the incompatibility and the suffering they provoke.
There are cases where this accumulation of sensations and emotions generates a high level of stress and anxiety, which also results in physical pain. A pain so unbearable that it has led them to believe that it is better “not to fall in love.”
But it is also safe to say that very sensitive people fall in love easily. Their ability to value people in all their nuances makes them feel attracted almost immediately, and full of a comforting energy caused by physical and emotional attraction.
But they have several risks that need to be considered:
Personality varies between highly sensitive people and non-HSP
If you are a highly sensitive person, you may gradually realize that your partner does not appreciate the same things you do. They do not reach the same emotional and intellectual depth as you.
Sometimes this will make you feel frustrated and will make you demand certain things from your partner that they cannot offer, cannot see or understand. The personalities are usually so different that it is normal for disappointments and misunderstandings to occur.
If you are a very sensitive person, you need to take into account that other people may not be able to satisfy your nuance or be on the same level as you. All of these things lead to great suffering.
The highly sensitive person and their great love
The highly sensitive person often has trouble monitoring their own personal boundaries, and tends to offer everything they have to the other person, forgetting themselves in the process.
This is a very big risk. Of course, it is great to achieve a symbiotic union where we offer all our love, our feelings, time and experiences to our beloved. For a highly sensitive person, nothing is more reassuring.
But we must protect ourselves by guarding our borders. If we give everything to the other person, we lose our identity, and become even more exposed to disappointments or arguments.
Frustration and disappointment can gradually begin to develop. For a highly sensitive person who can be very self-demanding in retrospect, these dimensions can end up being very destructive.
Any mistakes or disappointments are perceived as very traumatic on all levels, both physically and mentally, and pose the risk of falling into depression.
Being a highly sensitive person can be a merit
It is important to keep this in mind. Being a highly sensitive person can be a merit – a gift. But that does not change the fact that this personality trait requires a certain amount of self-knowledge, where we need to know how we are and what causes pain. By doing this we can create boundaries so that we are protected.
Understand that everyone else is not going to feel the way you feel things, and is not going to see things the way you do. But still, they are still able to love you and offer you the happiness you deserve.
Have good self-confidence while enjoying who you are and how you are. It is possible that sensitivity is sometimes a synonym for suffering, but this is not always the case.
As you become better acquainted with yourself, you will see yourself as more than capable of surviving this reality, which at times does not shine with all the sensitivity it should.
