What’s Really Behind The Seemingly “harmless ” Comments

Some people need to hurt others to feel better about themselves. Behind some of the seemingly harmless comments they make, they often hide some form of verbal poisoning to paralyze and destroy their victim. A quiet destruction. It is almost impressively slippery.

They are people who enjoy making the other person feel uneasy, as if they are worse. They try to create such scenarios, either consciously or unconsciously.

And they will use any weapon at their disposal to achieve that. From the most obvious and easy to see, to the most imperceptible.

Think of the “unnecessary” comments you have heard before. Maybe it helps if you think about them about your physical appearance.

It is an easy goal for such people. “Wow, you’re wearing weird clothes today…”, “You like some weird stuff, right?”, “Why are you wearing that there?”. There are endless examples.

Behind some unnecessary comments, there is an intention to harm the other person

“Okay, well, whether it’s weird or not, who cares?”, “Well, that’s your opinion.”, “I wear this because I like it. If I did not do it, I would not wear it, just like you do when you get dressed. ”

These are the answers common sense and self-esteem will suggest to us. But there are people who hang their heads and let the “unnecessary” comments invade them. People who let them hack even more at their self-esteem.

But think about it. What is behind these “harmless” comments? What purposes are hidden under? WHY?

This is the most honest question you can ask yourself. Why am I making these comments? Everyone is different and has their own tastes and their own ways of living their lives and presenting themselves.

If you do not like it, or you would not do it yourself… it’s fine. You have learned something about what you like or dislike.

But it is one thing to think “I do not like it”, and quite another to actually say it to the other person. Why does a person feel the need to show their negative feelings by telling others what they look like?

Differences should make us more tolerant

Much of the time, behind this type of comment, there is a secret need that wants satisfaction at the expense of harming others.

Differences make our interactions and relationships interesting and rewarding. They enrich our world. Thanks to them, we learn to be more tolerant and to accept the fact that our lifestyle is not the best or the only one.

There are probably as many lifestyles as there are people in the world. Therefore, it is important to find out why we come up with these (apparently) harmless comments. What do we get by doing this…?

But how do we usually react? In these situations, the person usually feels offended. They feel insecure or sensitive, or the unnecessary nature of some comments will only hurt.

But you do not have to let it affect you. You can understand that it is the opinion of others, but not absolute truth.

Narcissistic people strengthen themselves by making other people feel less

Narcissists tend to make such comments often. Comments made intentionally, which are in no way harmless or innocent. They want to feel better, so they feed their inner hungry monster that grows from the pain of others.

This behavior is typical of narcissistic people. Specifically, people who sit with such a painful wound that they end up inflating their egos at the expense of everyone else. A wound that comes from low self-esteem and insecurity.

If I can make the other person work worse, I will definitely work better. Eventually, this suffocating self-loathing will go away.

But that’s a big lie… Because the more you hurt the other person, the more disgusting you will feel. Pain accumulates. We must reverse the situation.

Love yourself, heal the wounded. But never at the expense of harming another person. Never at the expense of making other people smaller to make yourself bigger. Make yourself great by loving, caring for and accepting yourself. That way you can love and accept everyone else.

So… next time you get an “unnecessary” and seemingly harmless comment… or when you yourself feel that you are making such a comment… find out why.

Why are you doing that? What are you trying to get out of it? Use it as a way to start the process of healing.