Psychological Manipulation Through Communication – 9 Characters
To not answer. The use of sarcasm. To say that it is impossible to talk to you. Talking to you like you were a kid. Threats with ultimatums. The signs of psychological manipulation in communication and language are as varied as they are exhausting. It is a form of mental exploitation and emotional abuse that we must learn to recognize.
Licio Gelli was one of the most sinister men in Italian history. This agent of the so-called Masonic lodge Propaganda Due was a neo-fascist who specialized in manipulating the masses. This evil character once said that, in order to control someone, you just had to know how to communicate. He showed that language is a weapon, and can be used in a perverse way for dominance.
We know all this for good. In the political realm, in advertising and in the vast mass media universe, there is an almost constant use of manipulation to seduce us, influence our decisions and ultimately control us. Now, as we enter the private realm, everything becomes a little more enigmatic and complex.
We talk about our communication with our family, partner, friends… The signs of emotional and psychological manipulation are clear around us, but are often camouflaged. We can also subconsciously fall into the trap of using them ourselves. It is therefore important to know how to detect them and react to them.
We must understand that it is not only important to be careful about what we say, but also how we say it.
Signs of psychological manipulation in communication
When we refer to the idea of psychological manipulation through our words, what happens in the first place is an imbalance in the relationship we observe. It is the use of language to gain benefits for oneself. Not only to control the other person, but also for the purpose of harming them. Our naked emotions are what produce this hidden aggression within us.
Aldous Huxley said that words can be like X-rays. Used in a Machiavellian way, they can permeate everything: the self-esteem of the other, the dignity and even the identity. Let us therefore learn to see them coming, to understand a little more about this destructive dynamic on a personal level. Here are 9 signs of psychological manipulation.
1. Manipulation of facts
Any expert in psychological manipulation through communication is a good strategist who twists the truth. He will always turn it to his own advantage, reduce his share of responsibility and put all the blame on us. Furthermore, they will exaggerate and withhold key information and thus ensure that the balance is always in favor of their version of the “truth”.
2. They will tell you that you are impossible to talk to
This approach is simple, direct and effective. If someone tells you that “you are impossible to talk to”, then they avoid exactly what you want to do: talk about the problem. It is common for them to tell us that we are too emotional, that we are making a mountain out of a ridge, and that they simply cannot talk to us. They accuse us of exactly the thing they suffer from: poor communication skills.
3. Intellectual harassment
The psychological and emotional manipulator also often uses another very common communication strategy. We are talking here about intellectual harassment. People are constantly spitting out arguments our way along with other information, facts and complicated reasoning to exhaust us emotionally and to convince us that they are right.
4. They issue an ultimatum with little time to decide
If you do not accept what I say, it’s all over. I’ll give you tomorrow to think about what I’ve told you. This type of communication is undoubtedly very painful and troublesome. They place us between the bark and the wood, they generate anxiety and they cause great emotional suffering.
We must understand that if someone respects us and truly loves us, they will never use these “all or nothing” threats. This is another very common manipulation strategy.
5. To repeat our name during the call
When someone repeats our name almost continuously and exaggeratedly in a conversation, they use a clever control mechanism. By doing this, they force the other person to follow and make him feel intimidated.
6. Irony and black humor
Using irony and a black sense of humor that seeks to humiliate and ridicule is one of the most common signs of psychological manipulation in communication. The aggressor or manipulator seeks to bring us down and tries to impose his supposed psychological superiority on us.
7. The use of silence or avoidance
I do not want to talk about it. Now is not a good time. Why are you bringing it up now? … This type of communication is very common between partners, especially if one of them lacks communication skills and a sense of responsibility.
8. To claim ignorance: “I do not understand what you mean”
This is a classic tactic. They pretend not to understand what the other person wants them to say or do. They play with the other person’s mind. They try to make it appear that the other person is complicating things too much, and that the conversation just does not make sense. This is a classic strategy for the passive aggressive manipulator, where they avoid taking their own responsibility and want to make the other suffer.
9. They will let you talk first
One of the most subtle signs of psychological manipulation is where one person always gets the other to talk first. With this strategy you achieve several things. The first is to try to get extra time to prepare their arguments, the second is to find our weak points. It is also common for the emotional manipulator, after listening to us, to avoid expressing his own ideas or opinions. Rather, they ask questions, and instead of trying to reach an agreement, they seek to highlight our shortcomings. They direct the conversation in such a way that they make us appear clumsy, weak people.
To conclude. While it is true that there are many other strategies for psychological and emotional manipulation in human communication, this is undoubtedly the most common. They are forms of intimidation that not only limit the ability to establish an effective dialogue, but are also used to oppress the other person and to prevent them at all levels: personal, emotional and mental. We must learn to recognize these destructive strategies.
