Houdini Syndrome: Not Being Emotionally Available

Houdini syndrome refers to the acts of escapism of the mythical Hungarian-born American escapist, Harry Houdini. In this article, however, you will read about the psychological escapism that is triggered by avoidance. This is when people run away from family gatherings, work and daily routines.

Quarrels over pride, indulgence, and even the difficulty of expressing oneself without hurting one’s partner are common in interpersonal relationships. The fact that many run away from such relationships, however, is a deeper symptom of the lack of connection in modern society.

In many cases there is no direct link. The greater the obligation, the greater the need to flee. For many, this happens naturally, but what exactly is causing this behavior? Why is it so difficult for these people to really get emotionally involved with someone?

Emotional involvement and Houdini syndrome

Never before have so many questions been asked about emotional involvement as today. Social ties have always been an active part of our species’ development.

Involvement can also mean the opposite: detachment. Emotions and the ability to show them are fundamental to feeling empathy with others.

Even Houdini had been surprised

The concepts of family and herd mentality have been distorted. You are part of an individualistic society, where youth movements have spread even more. We see this not only in romantic relationships, but also in friendships, which can develop into utilitarianism.

Stages of Houdini syndrome

Houdini syndrome usually has several stages. These stages are part of a process that begins with an emotional commitment to total rejection. Let’s see what the main characteristics of these stages are:

• Implications. This is the stage of a sentimental “boom”. Here, strategies such as persuasion play a role in getting something from the other person. It seems that there are no boundaries between love and friendship.
• Doubt. The very unstable ground on which emotional bonds were formed makes people doubt their feelings. This is where things start to fall apart. It happens slowly.
• Escape. In this last stage there is no contact. The other person is away from your life and there is no communication.

A society that does not want to help

You live in an individualistic society that does not necessarily take on relationships. Technology has given society a complete grasp of communication.

These days, you do not have to be next to anyone to actively relate to them. This makes it easier to end relationships because you do not have to justify yourself face to face with anyone. Bands now go beyond those around you physically.

Social networks

In this context, there are many entities that promote social relationships. Some examples of this are Tinder and Facebook, where you can contact people from anywhere in the world or find a partner in no time. People are no longer vital. It is a “human bank” with many other people on hold.

Supply and demand of emotions

Rapidly changing social ties mean that the ecstasy and friendship of love lasts far too short. As soon as you have finished a bond with someone, you return to the social market to find a new ecstasy. This is exactly how it is a kind of emotional supply and demand with news as a common denominator. In this “market”, there is no doubt that superficiality prevails. A striking profile on social media is basic.

Teenage love

Houdini syndrome can date back to your youth. Many relationship experts believe that this is one of the possible reasons why there is little to no emotional education in adolescence. Teenagers are constantly bombarded with stereotypes of how relationships should be.

The flight reaction

Although some people identify with this syndrome, the effects and characteristics are a product of social phenomena. The syndrome can manifest itself in many ways, and depends on many factors, such as a person’s personality.

How can you detect Houdini syndrome?

To analyze Houdini syndrome, you need to analyze yourself. Often, people find themselves in to complain about this, but they see other people as a plan B .

The emotional involvement leads to selfishness. So, how can you spot an “escape artist”? By their inability to commit beyond their own interests.

Emotional weakness

Here is the dilemma. Can you really get involved completely? If you commit yourself in a shallow way, you can not expect to create strong and everlasting bonds if you see them as a risk. Thus, using people and then running away from them repeatedly is a clear symptom of emotional weakness. Weakness can be expressed in many ways.

• Avoidant behavior. People who can not commit, but who can not directly break ties. Therefore , they instead gradually avoid contact with people, by making excuses.

• Denial. These people can show a kind of emotional blockage. They tend to have trouble expressing their feelings sincerely.
• Selfishness. These people find it difficult to plan activities outside of their interests.

Houdini Syndrome: Not all is lost

People do not have to be an “escape artist” to fit the profile we have defined in this article. Analyze your behavior, and if you notice a trait similar to this, put an end to it before it becomes systematic. Some things that can help you with this are the following:

• Go face to face with your fears. It is true that you may have to take a risk when committing to someone emotionally. It seems that trust, empathy and emotions are at stake here. Do not be afraid if you act on what you think.

• Self-confidence. You do not have to pretend to be someone you are not. Those who want to be with you will remain by your side for who you really are.
• Take care of others. Committing to others is important, and playing with other people’s feelings is something an “escape artist” would have done. Being honest is a way of protecting others.

The quote that says “There is a fine line between love and hate”, has become “Love and hate is just a text message away”. Although you may identify a person from your past as someone suffering from Houdini Syndrome, you need to be objective. Individualism and the speed at which everything is changing nowadays are also part of modern conditions. In a way, they are more demanding when it comes to better social qualities.