How To Improve Our Self-esteem
6 symptoms of low self-esteem
- Conformism and lack of motivation. The person stops fighting for their dreams because they do not think they will not be able to achieve them. They think they are of little value.
- Shyness, fear and insecurity. Endless worries about losing face, about what others think of us or about doing something ridiculous. Unable to take the initiative.
- Physical neglect and inattention to lifestyle habits. They stop caring about their physical appearance, or vice versa, they go to the extreme and spend too much time and energy on their appearance to hide their lack of self-esteem. The person has bad lifestyle habits, eats poorly, does not exercise, etc.
- Negativity and austerity. Everything that happens, all the mistakes they make, is the reason for the lack of self-respect, that they blame and diminish themselves. The person in question is neither particularly understanding nor flexible towards himself.
- Refusing to accept change and are often perfectionists. The person becomes very stressed when he or she is confronted with changes in life, even if they are positive. They prefer to stick to what they feel for fear of not fitting in somewhere else. They will also often be perfectionists, as doing something wrong provides a basis for blaming themselves, internal strife and further diminution.
- To treat others badly. Many people with low self-esteem treat others badly to feel more valuable. If they manage to make another person a victim, then they feel that they themselves are in a position of power and therefore superior to the other person. This situation relieves them and they trick themselves into thinking they are more significant.
What can we do to improve our self-esteem?
Below we show you 8 habits that can help you achieve a healthy self-esteem:
Know yourself
If a person does not know himself, then he can not love himself either. Have you ever loved someone you did not know? It is unlikely as love is born out of knowledge and emotional discovery.
It is very important for you to know what your virtues and shortcomings are, because if you do not know it, then you can not follow the steps below. It is very common that we are not able to see ourselves properly because our low self-esteem distorts reality and makes everything excessively negative.
In that case, it will be necessary to get help from someone, not just from someone you trust, but someone who has the knowledge you need. When we know who we are and where we are going, it will be easier for us to start living effectively.
Take for example a bird, it can fly like few others, but if you place it in water there is little it can do. A person may be a master of computer programming, but may have great difficulty working with their hands.
Perhaps the most intelligent thing would be to choose the path that leads to IT and computer programming, and not the one that leads to arts and crafts. But very often it means that we do not know ourselves properly, that we choose the wrong path. If you do not know what your strengths and weaknesses are, then life will not go in the right direction.
Focus on your strengths
We all have virtues and shortcomings. Absolutely everyone has this. People who appear to be very confident focus entirely on their strengths and leave their faults and shortcomings in the background.
Thoughts are like snowballs that just roll and get bigger. Therefore, by focusing your attention on your shortcomings, you will only increase the feeling of insecurity and discomfort. On the other hand, if you focus on your strengths, your confidence will increase.
Keep your mind in check
People with low self-esteem tend to give in to negative thoughts they have about themselves. They belittle themselves and think that they are incompetent, that others are better than them, etc. There are those who constantly criticize and insult themselves.
We must respect ourselves and treat ourselves with care, because if we do not, it will be impossible to improve your self-esteem. Try to change your thought patterns and the inner dialogue you have with yourself. Take up the habit of talking to yourself in good, praiseworthy tones. Be patient with yourself, be extremely flexible and understanding. Bombarding yourself with negativity will only cause you to sink deeper and deeper into uncertainty.
You have an enemy inside you who does not stop sabotaging you and says, “You can not”, “You are incompetent”, “It is not for you”, “You do not deserve it”, “You are not worth it it “,” You’ll fail, it’s not even worth trying “etc. Replace the enemy with an ally who appreciates you and who says” You can do it “,” You are competent “,” I love you “,” You are amazing “,” Try, if it does not work then it does nothing. You will continue to learn and will succeed next time ”etc.
If you get used to v honor your allies rather than your enemy, then you will feel more secure. The words that make up your mind are crucial for you to believe in yourself.
Get rid of labels
Get rid of every single tag. Do not associate your value as a person with anything outside of yourself. Neither your job, your possessions or your love life, etc. Who you are as a person has nothing to do with what you have.
If you have low self-esteem then you will probably feel worse than others, or you will feel that you are less valuable because you are unemployed, do not have a partner, etc. The good news is that it does not matter. You can have a healthy self-esteem without needing nice things, because what matters is not on the outside, but what is inside you.
The key is to give value to who you are as a person, to your values, to your way of looking at life, the way you treat others, your kindness, your integrity and that you are trustworthy, etc.
Take responsibility for yourself
Everyone must take responsibility for themselves. There is no need to blame your insecurities and problems on others. We are influenced by other people, but it is we who make the choices in our lives, and not others. That is why we are also responsible for our own lives.
What actually happens is one thing, but you choose how you want to handle the situation.
If, for example, someone treats you badly and you still choose to start a relationship with this person, then you can not blame your dissatisfaction on the other person as it was actually you who made an active choice to be with this person. Regardless of whether this choice is based on lack of experience, trust or something else, it is our responsibility, and in the same way we started it, we can also end it.
Everything we have in life, whether it is good or bad, we have deserved it, in one way or another. Even if there are exceptions, and accidents sometimes mean that we are in situations we have not chosen, we can always make choices that change the situation. Another thing is to have the security and courage to make these changes.
As long as you keep rinsing on others, you will not experience any improved self-esteem. Because you avoid responsibility, you will not do anything to create change. If, on the other hand, you begin to take responsibility and see that you are in control of your life, then you will begin to take charge of your life and find the courage to change what you are dissatisfied with.
The deeds you do to improve your life will give you a sense of self-respect because you are doing something to help yourself. In the same way that you feel gratitude and consideration for someone who helps you, so you will feel the same above yourself.
Know what you want
It is important not to get carried away by life. We can all take control of our lives and not let fate decide.
We must set ourselves goals and act to approach them. Because if you do not have goals in your life, then you can not use your abilities to achieve them, and it will cause you to stagnate in your personal development.
Our self-esteem is shaped by the experiences and experiences we make in life. If you avoid situations and goals, then you can not improve it either. It would be like expecting a basketball player to play well without having been through hours of training.
Take care of yourself
What do you do when you love someone? Whether it’s a child, a friend, a family member… when we love and value someone, our natural reaction is to take care of them and get the best out of them. It is as if we do not see their faults and instead double their virtues.
You need to do the same above yourself: take care of yourself with a balanced diet, exercise, listen to your desires, follow your dreams, allow yourself to be impulsive, enjoy the things you are passionate about, and have the ability to say “no” whenever you want, etc.
In addition to taking care of yourself, do not forget to treat yourself to things. Focus on the best you have, make the most of it and be proud. You are a unique person with unique characteristics. What often happens is that people are unable to see them because they are too busy focusing on their faults and shortcomings.
You need to get into the habit of focusing on the good things you have, the things you accomplish, and it does not have to be about big things. Even confronting something you are afraid of is good enough reason to pamper yourself. You have done something to improve your life and it deserves recognition.
Who has not heard things like “do not exaggerate when you see the best in me.”? When we look at ourselves with loving eyes, everything looks different. You need to get to the point where you realize that by loving yourself, you are also able to see what is good in your life. When you love yourself more, it will also be easier for you to see your own values and qualities.
Accept yourself
Without acceptance, there is neither well-being nor security. When you fail to accept your shortcomings, they become stronger. If you start accepting them, however, you will find that they start to shrink.
Perfectionism is, among other things, a reason why we have problems with acceptance. We grow up with commercials, movies and the like that brainwash us with perfectionism. When summer comes, we never stop hearing about how we can start “surgery bikini”, ways to take care of our skin so that it always looks young, toothpaste that promises us teeth as white as those we see on film, etc.
They brainwash us into thinking that we must always be magnificent, and even if we do not notice it, it is one of the reasons why we have problems with personal acceptance. Everything in life has a good and a bad side, in everything there is a balance between advantages and disadvantages.
We must understand that everyone has good and bad sides, both physically and in terms of traits in our personality. Accept that you are human like everyone else and that you also have a dose of good and bad.
We tend to only accept what is good and forget that the bad also has its function, that it is there for something. There will be no rainbow without rain, yet many like and admire the rainbow while complaining and disliking the rain.
All things have their two sides that complement and complement each other. If you announce your shortcomings, it is an attack on your self-esteem. You have to accept them, and when you do, they strangely enough tend to improve.
Accepting oneself does not mean that one has given up. It’s all right if we do not like something; then we try to improve it. Accepting oneself means that we are not bothered by things we do not like about ourselves. Even though there are things that we would like to change, we are able to accept them and the fact that I am this way now, at this point in my life, without worry, stress or negative emotions.
We have to accept ourselves, even the things we do not like about ourselves. We must love ourselves and work to improve what we lack without negative emotions and with a lot of love.
Photos by Alba Soler
