The Dangers Of Excessive Self-esteem

Having an excessively high self-esteem is neither positive nor healthy. Being overly confident and overestimating your value leads to problematic behaviors and behaviors. These types of people do not take responsibility for their own mistakes, and they also have narcissistic tendencies.

Self-esteem is a very important topic in the world of personal growth. New books and articles on how to increase this basic psychological “muscle” that is fundamental to your well-being are published steadily and constantly. With that said, there are some writers who refuse to write about the negative side of self-esteem. This is what we want to address today.

It is important to make it clear that the antidote to low self-esteem is not high self-esteem. It is never good to go to the extreme, as it is both dangerous and harmful. If you go back and forth between them, you will only cause even more problems.

Thus, it is important that we explain what we mean by a healthy self-confidence. In modern society, leadership, self-love and self-esteem are seen as important. However, you should always keep in mind that “the more, the better” is not always the way things should be.

People with an excessively high self-esteem

One of the most interesting books by social psychologist Alvert Bandura is called Self-Efficacy: The Exercise of Control. In this book, Bandura argues that perceived efficiency and self-confidence play a fundamental role in overcoming problems and being successful in every aspect of life.

Many things can get in the way of your goals and your happiness, such as low self-esteem and an excessively high self-esteem. They are both equally bad.

High self-esteem and a world without borders

Child psychologists often point out that children need to learn early on that the world has its limits. They need to understand that there are rules and that you do not get it the way you want. Being able to tolerate frustration is a basic skill in life. If you never learn how to do just that, you may end up facing many problems.

Many children and teenagers are trained to get whatever they want. They are little monarchs. They feel entitled to do whatever they want. Raising children to have excessively high self-esteem can make them egocentric, violent, arrogant and impulsive.

The dangers of high self-esteem tend to stem from children’s upbringing.

Excessively high self-esteem does not lead to success or happiness

Contrary to many people’s beliefs,  having high self-esteem will not make you successful. Instead, it leads to the following problems:

• An excessive self-esteem leads you to believe that the projects, tasks or jobs that other people suggest are not good enough for you. As a result, your pride makes you miss out on many great opportunities.
• Arrogance and a sense of entitlement distance you from those around you. Having a giant ego makes other people uncomfortable.
• You are blind to your own mistakes and cannot learn from them. When you fail, it’s always someone else’s fault, never your own.
• In a relationship, an excessively high self-esteem can make it impossible to see things from your partner’s perspective. In the worst case, this can lead to abuse.

• It can also cause serious problems in work-related relationships, as well as in friendships.

Excessive self-esteem and crime

For a long time, researchers linked criminal behavior to low self-esteem. In the last couple of years, however, studies have shown that excessively high self-esteem also correlates with violent acts. A study by Dr. Robert Roy F. Baumeister at Princeton University explains that a sense of superiority is a crucial factor in many types of criminal behavior.

Many criminals show signs of narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy, which go hand in hand with an excessively high self-esteem that justifies their bad behavior. They think too much about themselves, and as a consequence of just this, they think they should get everything they want.

All in all, high self-esteem also has a dark side. Everyone knows that low self-esteem is risky, but the same goes for the other extreme.

Ultimately, self-confidence is the art of taking care of oneself. However, it turns into something unhealthy when it leans towards one of the extremes. What is important is that we find the perfect balance between self-love and respect for others.