7 Characteristics Of Assertive People

Self-assertive people are not just born that way, they are shaped. Of course, there are conditions that help to develop certain qualities or abilities. But in the end, we must all work to change the way we behave and act to be more appropriate and constructive. There are certain characteristics of assertive people that we can identify.

Healthy assertion can be defined as the ability to relate to others in a sincere and uplifting way, and form a bridge that leads to trust between people. It can also be defined as an attitude towards oneself and others that leads to a balance between human rights and the responsibility we have towards others, while maintaining mutual respect.

It is much easier to theorize about this than to carry it out in our daily lives. Self-assertive people are the fruit of effort and action that come together to form this attitude. Finally, all our efforts are part of the long road to learning to live well. It is worth the effort to identify the qualities that make us assertive. Here we will talk about 7 of them.

1. Self-assertive people know what respect really is

The word respect is defined as the capacity to give value to something or someone and treat it or them with respect. Self-assertive people develop this capacity. They use it for themselves, but above all for everything around them, whether it is people, ideas, work or animals.

First and foremost, respect is expressed as refraining from violence. Abuse is not an option under any circumstances. If there is disagreement or conflict, confident people will deal with it by using self-respect and respect for others. This often translates into an attempt to preserve one’s own dignity as well as that of others.

This attitude of respect is also manifested in concepts, ideas and ideologies. Even someone who does not share their beliefs and convictions, a self-assertive person does not look down on others. Someone who is self-assertive understands that there is value in all people and their efforts that cannot be overlooked.

2. They relate sincerely to others

One of the characteristics of assertive people is that they prioritize good relationships with others. They understand that they cannot construct relationships with lies or hypocrisy. Instead, they show themselves as they are, and they want others to understand what they can expect from them.

They strive to avoid behaviors that create long-term discomfort, such as diminution. If they disagree with something, they say so directly. They do not sacrifice their identity to avoid contradictions. On the same line, they choose their friends carefully. If they do not feel a real connection with someone, they will not force a friendship. They are not motivated by benefits, but rather by faith.

3. They understand, accept and value themselves

Self-assertive people have self-confidence, but their self-confidence does not come from pride or feeling superior. They feel confident in who they are because they understand themselves; this understanding comes from observation, self-evaluation and learning to have a constructive inner dialogue. This means that they accept responsibility for themselves as people who have both strengths and weaknesses.

Self-knowledge leads to understanding. And in turn, it leads to acceptance and self-respect. Self-assertion requires that we are humble and understand that human beings are human and therefore imperfect. It is a “feeling of imperfection” where the will and motivation to grow and improve in various aspects is found.

4. They have self-control and emotional stability

Self-assertive people find ways to regulate their emotions. Because of this, their attitude is predominantly calm and under control. They understand that we all have emotions and that emotions need to be treated. It is not that they do not feel anger or anxiety or pain. They have simply learned that if they lose control, these powerful emotions can lead to the wrong expression of the emotions.

This principle can also be applied to behavior towards others. Self-assertive people empathize with the feelings of others and try to make others feel calm and in control. Those who are self-assertive do not stir up the flame, nor do they seem to manipulate others to find fault or point out weaknesses. They help others to gather so that no situation causes them to lose control.

5. They cultivate their ability to communicate

Many problems stem from incorrect communication. In the same way, many problems are solved through communication and dialogue. When necessary communication tools are not used properly, it becomes difficult to share opinions. We may lack honesty, the true intention to reach a common understanding, the ability to find the best way to express something, or just clarity.

Self-knowledge and reflection also allow the development of these communicative abilities. This means that a person has the ability to express – clearly, simply and truthfully – what they feel. Not only that, but also that they are able to actively listen to what the other has to say. The fact is that self-assertive people understand the value of communication and are willing to invest in improving the way they communicate.

6. One of the characteristics of self-assertive people is that they know how to draw boundaries

We can not always have good relationships with others. The reality is that we sometimes come in contact with people who are prone to abuse or who have bitterness or a desire to do harm to themselves. This generates tension, which self-assertive people know how to say “enough” to. They understand that everything has a limit, and there are situations that require them to draw a clear line.

In the same way, they may not always live up to the expectations or desires of others. This will eventually allow guilt or guilt to emerge, which is sometimes allowed to remain unrecognized. Self-assertion does not allow this to happen: a self-assertive person can say no without creating conflict.

7. They are emotionally independent

Self-assertive people are also able to tolerate and assimilate rejection or indifference from others. They do not act to receive approval from others, but rather to be consistent with their beliefs, convictions and necessities. Like everyone else, self-assertive people want to be recognized by others. But if this does not happen, they will not succumb to the temptation to act against their own conscience.

We do not have all these qualities ; that is, we will not be able to find people who are assertive in everything they say and do. Nothing human is complete, in every aspect we have room to grow. To achieve this goal, it is enough to just try to get a little better all the time.